Kid Advice
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Like most parents, I read a lot about how to be a good parent. I’ve come to realize that a lot of it is crap. Some of it is good, but a lot of it is not.
Four of my friends have recently given birth (to happy, healthy little ones - congratulations!). For some reason, I was asked for advice. Given that my friends have different nationalities, religions, and even political affiliations, I really thought about what might be some good universal advice.
I came up with 2 things:
1. Read to your kids - Both my husband and I read to our kid. We started when he was just a couple weeks old (prior to that, we were in total survival/adjustment mode). I take him to the library weekly, and he can’t wait for story time every week.
We always read before bedtime, and frequently throughout the day at his request. He takes books with him everywhere we go. I can honestly say that he loves books!
If something were to happen to me tomorrow, I would like to think that even though the kid might not really remember me, I would have left him with a love of reading that will guide him through life.
2. Spend a couple minutes each day reflecting on your role as a parent - I tend to spend a couple minutes before I go to sleep going over the events of the day. At this age, I usually end up asking myself: What did we have fun doing? What sucked? How well did I do at enforcing discipline? Was I too strict or not strict enough? If I could change one thing about the day, what would it be?
All of these questions help me reflect on how I can guide my son as he continues to grow. Kids change so quickly, and I think it’s a lot easier to appreciate them for who they are when we take time to really think about the role we should (or perhaps should not) be playing in their lives.
Do you have a universal piece of advice? I’d love to hear it!
p.s. Just to let everyone know, we’ll be camping tomorrow and Saturday, so I’ll be back on Sunday (don’t want you to think I’m ignoring you!). Have a nice weekend!
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8 Responses to “Kid Advice”
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No advise, sounds like you are doing great. I loved reading to my boys - in fact I read to them until that finally announced - Mom you do not have to read us anymore. The order one especially is a prolific reader. (when he has in high school I would read the same books he was interested in - John Grishman etc. - which was fun and we could still talk about books).
Wow, what a great speller I am …. older and Grisham … sorry
I might add these to your great suggestions:
Spend time listening to your kids.
Rather than buying them lots of stuff for their birthdays, buy a little, then put money into a savings account for them, or buy them savings bonds to give to them when they graduate high school or college.
i agree, i think one of the best values that i ingrained on my son is his love of books. he learned to read at age 3, and that is a milestone for me.
maggies last blog post..Two Personal Notes (An Award and A Notification)
I would add love them enough to tell them no. They will hear no over and over when they leave you. Every kid does better with limits, with a foundation of family. And a job, Dunk has been working for several years, it taught him so much.
But yes all this other stuff is just not practical. You have to tell them no, and mean it. Spending a lot of time with them you will not regret later. A wonderful neighbor told me that I would never regret the moments I enjoy my kids, the dishes can wait but a kid that wants to play ball is a wonderful moment!
@mommyandme - don’t worry about the spelling! I would love to have book discussions with my kid when he’s older - it sounds like he had a good taste in books!
@greener - I like both of your ideas a lot! I find myself not being the best listener on days when I’m tired, and I think that it would really serve me better to do so. We do put money into college savings plans automatically each month, but I like the idea of putting extra into his savings accounts on those special holidays.
@maggie - That’s an accomplishment! Congratulations
@kathy - I agree that “no” is so important, and is part of being a great parent. There’s so much dysfunction these days from some (not all!) young adults, and I think it is due to not understanding limits.
Thanks so much to everyone for responding! Being able to hear others opinions means so much
Maybe you should write a book sounds like some great advice. Your friends should be thrilled to have you in their corner.
I am a avid reader and alot of what I do read about just like you is being a better parent and you are so right most is junk.
Thank god we have enough sense to recognize truth from junk.
Tammy - Thanks for the compliment! I do wish that more people had enough sense to recognize the truth from the junk, though